Tomorrow shall be the first day of my first hand experience on becoming a doctor. 365 days of Junior internship a.k.a Clerkship starts with Community Medicine. Woot! Anxious and restless…. But! I know I can do this!!!! I freakin’ love stress!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3
For all the sleepless nights and days, missed meals, missed important events of your loved ones, pounds gained, and never ending stress… most of the time …it feels totally worth it. :)
“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”
— Earl Nightingale
I dont care even if it’d take me almost half of my life just to be called a CARDIO SURGEON. I have decided I’m going to be one. I wont take no for an answer. :)
Two hours of sleep. Eleven and a half hours before examinations starts. No intentions of getting any sleep anymore. I have tons of papers to study on my bed. Still depressed for the unworldly exams awhile ago. I’m in PANIC.
Oh hey… I’m still here. Just too lazy…
This year.. my biggest enemy is myself. I can’t seem to focus. :(
First year of medicine, as they say, is the year where all intentions of doctors to be are pure and innocent. And as the year gets tougher and demanding, intentions will change.
First year was tough, but not enough to shake my grounds. I wanted to write something that could capture the beauty of my intentions in becoming a doctor, while I’m still in my first year. While, as they say, innocence is still within me. The beauty of being in first year, is having that drive of why one wanted to be of service to others in the field of medical practice in the first place. Maybe not everyone has good intentions in entering this profession, and maybe some don’t even want to be in this profession. But I think majority knew and know what it means to want to become a doctor.
I admit that I am not smart nor have the capability to focus enough to ace up medical school. I have experienced in one way or another to go to an exam without having any sleep at all, but even sacrifices like that can’t give me what i desire, just enough to get me by. Medical school, I believe, is not only for the genius and smart asses… it is, as well, for the hard working and a believer.
For me, being a doctor is a profession closest to our God, not only a healer of physical illness, but also, doctors get the opportunities to heal a soul. To be given this opportunity should not be wasted for wrong reasons, that being a doctor could give you prestige and wealth. Although those comes along with becoming a doctor, good intentions should still be what matter most in deciding to do this profession.
I don’t think I have everything it takes to make it to this profession, but i know one thing, my Lord has what it takes to make me succeed in this profession. So I pray that all years leading to me becoming a real life superhero be offered to His most glorious name.
I am grateful for making it pass this year :)
Medical school is a battering way of fulfilling one’s dreams. Academically speaking, it is extremely mind blowing. Physically and mentally exhausting. But all these are not even close to impossible. But what makes medical school seem impossible is that , during this particular age that one enters medical school, is a crucial time for making a life-long-changing decisions. And since medical school is what one chooses, these life changing decisions would have to wait, namely, family, friends and even love…they all have to get on the line, because choosing med school means prioritizing it the most.
But I did promise myself that no matter how hard it gets, ill keep on fighting, no matter what it takes, no matter how much i need to sacrifice. Though i never expected it’d be this difficult, I wont give up. I just hope that when all these are over… I’d still find the people who has been with me till the finish line. And that I still have enough time to make things better.
Just a few more weeks…
Medical School and Medical career entirely is all about Sacrifice. It’s a decision of choosing a road that includes a lot of hardships and challenges that could take up every bit of sanity in one’s self. The fight doesn’t start on the very first day that you meet your very first patient, it doesn’t start on the first day of work. It starts when you made the decision that this is who you want to be.
They say that time is the most important thing you could ever give someone, because it is something that you cannot take back.
And in this career, every second is wanted.
Not a blink, not a pause, no rest is permitted. Here, you choose others before your very own.
Weekends mean your time alone, or if lucky enough maybe an hour or two with people who share the same sentiments.
You get to miss the things that used to make you happy, simple pleasures in life that you deeply enjoy.
And it gets you sometimes, that just a simple movie that you missed could burst you into tears.
You don’t get to see people you love often, knowing they’re having all the time in their life, and you wonder, am i just letting my life pass me by?
You forget all other dreams you got, and justify that: well this is what i chose, I must stand up for this.
You put other things on hold. And wonder, would they still be there when I’m done with this… and well… will this ever be done?
Holidays get lesser and lesser, to the extent that you spend your Christmas and new years with people you dont even know.
You get to share your time and give hope to families who are not even yours and take for granted your own.
And maybe , if these things bother you , then maybe this is not what you’re meant to be.
But if at the end of the day, you’re fulfilled in the things that you’ve done for others, and it makes you sleep peacefully at night that you followed this dream, then maybe you’re on the right path.
And its okay to cry sometimes, and feel alone and deprived.
But tomorrow, if you’re still wanting this over and over, then its okay. It’s okay to break down. Afterall, we are still humans.
WE all have our own battles in life.
And in this war… the FIGHT never ends.
1James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:
Greetings.
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
